I AM CHANGED

My Story--Published in Christ's Place Magazine (cpmag).
The cpmag is published once a year by Christ's Place. 
1111 Old Cheney Road, Lincoln, NE 68512. Copyright 2013


I was a broken girl and all I wanted was to feel loved. I chased after men, sex, smoking,
and excessive use of alcohol, trying anything to get attention and love. But it usually
just led me to a crumpled ball on my living room floor. The more I tried to fill myself with
all these things, the worse I felt. But I just kept doing it over and over. I believed I was
worthless and that the world would be better off without me in it. I honestly wanted to die.
____________________________________________________________________

I'LL NEVER FORGET THE MOMENT
MY LIFE CHANGED.
____________________________________________________________________

I’ll never forget the moment my life changed. I still remember what row and exact chair I
was sitting in. My best friend Kendra made me go to Christ’s Place on a Saturday night
in January of 2012. Quite honestly, it was the last place I wanted to be.

When Pastor Rick asked those who wanted to get right with God to raise their hands, I
didn’t just raise mine; I ran up to the front, desperate for something different in my life. I
discovered Jesus was the only answer. I gave my heart to Christ that night and, with it, I
surrendered control of my life. I was baptized the following weekend.

While I was in the water and my video testimony played, Pastor Bruce told me, “You
are part of a new story Jes. The old is gone and you are new.” These words are forever
engrained in my soul. The idea that I could actually be free from my past still brings me
to tears. When I went in the water I let go of my past and came up feeling new. Pastor
Bruce was right.
____________________________________________________________________

"THEREFORE, IF ANYONE IS IN 
CHRIST THEY ARE A NEW CREATION,
THE OLD IS GONE THE NEW IS HERE."
                                          2 Corinthians 5:17
____________________________________________________________________

I got involved at Christ’s Place right away by joining the worship choir and was instantly
overwhelmed by the way the other choir members loved me and spoke life into me. I
began to see myself as a person who could do anything!

I also joined the Starting Point Connect Group. Being in a room with other people
and talking about life and God made me comfortable for the first time. When I shared
my story, out loud, from beginning to end, something changed in me. Pastor Nathan
was one of the first people to really touch my heart. He really cared. And he made me
promise I would never date again unless he met and talked with the guy first. Such a
simple statement made me feel like I mattered.
___________________________________________________________________

WHEN I SHARED MY STORY, OUT
LOUD, FROM BEGINNING TO END,
SOMETHING CHANGED IN ME.
___________________________________________________________________

A few months later God started even deeper work in my life. Through the Scars sermon
series, messages Pastor Mike shared in choir, and getting involved in Stephen Ministry
training, God showed me I needed to re-visit my past and allow Him to heal me.

Early on in Stephen Ministry training, at the same time as the Scars series, we had a
class about people not opening up and putting on a “fake face” to appear to be OK. We
were all supposed to share a time we did that. I bawled and admitted I was doing it in
that very moment. I opened up about my lack of self worth and everyone prayed for me.
Throughout the rest of the training I was able to identify and target areas in life that I still
needed to heal and work through. The training served a dual purpose for me. I learned
to care for others, but I also had no idea it was going to heal me the way it did.

I shared my story on video for the Scars series last spring.
(click here for the link to the video and click here for the link to the Scars Sermon Series)
Just like sharing my story inStarting Point this helped me overcome my past.
As Rick said during the series, “Exposeit to dispose it.”
I began to see how it impacted others and started to develop a deep
desire to continue reaching out to people. That is when I started living my faith openly,
and writing a blog, telling my story of how Christ freed me from my past.

Being involved in church and around good people who fed life into me helped me see
my true self-worth and see myself as God sees me. I know that I matter now, and what
other people have said about me in my past doesn’t define me. What Christ says about
me is what matters - He says I can do ALL things through Him that gives me strength.
__________________________________________________________________

BEING INVOLVED IN CHURCH AND AROUND
GOOD PEOPLE WHO FED LIFE INTO ME 
HELPED ME SEE MY TRUE SELF-WORTH
AND SEE MYSELF AS GOD SEES ME. 
__________________________________________________________________

God not only saved me from myself and where my life was headed, but he taught me He
could use my experience to impact others. In this last year, I started volunteering with
Guest Services as a greeter, in Rock Solid as a youth sponsor, was commissioned as a

Stephen Minister Commissioning

Stephen Minister, continued in Worship Choir and began leading a Connect Group. In all
the areas of ministry I became involved in, it became less about serving and more about
helping others experience the love of Christ and the life change that happens in following
Him.

Before that moment my life changed in January last year, I had my own ideas for my
life, my own plans, but God had bigger and better plans. And, through this past year of
leading and growing in my relationship with Christ, God has put many people who I’ve
had the opportunity to lead to Christ.
_________________________________________________________________

I HAD MY OWN IDEAS FOR MY LIFE, MY 
OWN PLANS, BUT GOD HAD BIGGER AND
BETTER PLANS.
_________________________________________________________________

Tori's Baptism

Just recently two friends of mine were baptized at Christ’s Place and I was blessed to
be a part of their day with wet, tearful hugs as they came out of the water. Seeing first
hand the domino effect of invites that led to each of their salvations and life change, is
something that will never get old.


God continues to guide and direct me and I’m trusting His plans for my life. I am in the

Jen's Baptism

process of selling my furniture, giving up the comfort of my own space, setting aside
career plans for my life and moving in with Kendra to live on her couch. She is taking me
in so that I can follow God’s call to attend CPLC next fall in the Church Leadership Track. (click here for more information on CPLC)

I don’t know what the end of my story will be. It may just be beginning all over again. I
do know one thing: whatever it is, I will follow and trust Him for he has proved His way is better than mine.

Wherever He leads, I will follow.

The girl who came kicking and screaming, who wanted nothing to do with God, is now
devoting her life to serve Him. I wouldn’t have it any other way, for it is through Christ
that I am changed.

LET GO and LET GOD!

In today’s society we so easily define who we are based off what we have. I LOVE my stuff! I admit it I LOVE having stuff and space and things…so many things! I get a sense of achievement from stacking up my list of “I have succeeded” inventory. It makes me feel good. I also LOVE my space, my apartment, my car, my room, anywhere I can go and close a door and escape; oh how I LOVE it because it’s “mine”! I’m not saying I am not generous or that I don’t like to give. I have always had a giving heart. But at the end of the day…I could give, I could give a lot, but I still went home and had all that was mine so it was OK  I was safe, I was comfortable. I could go spend time with my best friend and her kids but when it stopped being “fun” and wasn’t in my comfort zone, I went home, closed the door and got to have all that was “mine”.  And why not, that is perfectly normal right? We all have our stuff and our space, we deserve it right? We work hard with intention to have things to provide and survive and thrive. Have a big house a fancy car nice furniture etc., etc., etc…. In the past 10 years I have worked job after job to make the big bucks so I can afford all my stuff and my space. Those jobs never lasted longer than a season and then I would jump right back in and find a different job so I could have more stuff and more space. But it just never really worked out.  I was good at these sales jobs a natural as most would say but they never lasted. And each time I defeated myself and failed to rise to the top I was left feeling inadequate once again…But I had to have my stuff so I had to find the jobs.

I first became a Christian in high school. I used to get teased because I had a bumper sticker on my car that said “No Jesus No Peace, KNOW Jesus KNOW Peace” but it didn’t bother me, some people laughed at me and called me a “Bible Beater.” I boldly shared the gospel without a second thought and remember being truly at peace and happy. A turning point moment for me was at the end of my junior year, I was going through my yearbook reading all the things my friends wrote and I remember thinking it was someone else’s book. It was page after, page after, page of people thanking me for showing them who God was and helping them to believe. I thought to myself with almost confusion and disbelief that I had an impact on so many people…and I knew God had a calling on my life, I felt this inner voice telling me I was destined for

"The more you trust your intuition,
the more empowered you become,
the stronger you become,
and the happier you become." 
- Gisele Bundchen

greatness but I wasn’t sure what that really meant or even how to process something like that. When I graduated the next year instead of trusting my gut and going after God and that feeling I had about serving Him, I went with what I knew, what was comfortable. I followed my own dreams. I ignored that inner voice telling me that I was destined for greatness beyond twirling baton, beyond going to the big university, beyond what I had planned for myself. I was too selfish and caught up in what I wanted to listen to it. So off to college I went. And I was so excited I was living my dream!

Now I do want to be clear about something; I do not think it is wrong to have goals and dreams and to go after them, we should all dream and have goals. In my case I was so consumed with what I wanted that I wasn’t listening to what God was leading me to.  And I paid many a heavy hard price for that.  Bad relationships, abuse, poor money management, one bad decision after another…you name it…I did it and it happened to me. I was so consumed with my dream that I became lost, broken, and over 13 years later and I didn’t even want to live.

The good news is, even though I turned my back on God and ignored what he was trying to tell me, He still met me where I was at. About 18 months ago I found myself on my knees desperate for a change. My best friend Kendra took me to church, kicking and screaming; it was the last place I wanted to be. I had been to church a lot off and on through the years and it didn’t ever work, so I just figured it was a waste of time and I was a lost cause.  But something happened to me that night when I found myself so uncomfortable with my brokenness that I had no choice but to change.  I re-dedicated my life to God and never looked back. It hasn’t been an easy road. I have still struggled, but that peace, that happiness I had my junior year in high school, it came back. And although I struggle I finally am truly surviving and thriving, but for real this time.

As I started to get involved with my church and learned to get comfortable not only in my faith again but in myself, I started to feel this tug on my heart again. Much like the one in high school, this voice telling me I was meant for greatness, I was meant for more, I was going to change the world. Seriously…I laughed at first…I mean ya right, Like I Jessie Adcox could change the world? I kept denying it and God kept speaking to me, He was relentless and would not give up. I started seeing people’s lives change right before my very eyes, just as mine did. 

In the bible it says in 2 Corinthians 5:17 “This means that anyone who belongs to Christ has become a new person. The old life is gone; a new life has begun!” If you read my blog you are familiar with this verse and some of my stories of this life change that happens and it’s miraculous! And I was seeing it happen all the time! God was using me to facilitate it! Actually using me to share the word and influence people. All of a sudden those pages from my high school yearbook morphed into real life happening right in front of me!

Baptizing Emily. A Life Changing moment for us both!

And then all it took was one girl, Emily, who asked me to baptize her and that small voice telling me I was meant for greatness began to yell very loud and clear! I knew…I just knew! My life was meant to help souls be saved and lives be changed.  All I want is for everyone to know that peace and happiness. Not perfection, that is impossible, but in this imperfect life, all I want is for people to have peace, happiness, and to feel loved through the love of our Savior Jesus Christ.

When I made the decision to trust God and start Christ’s Place Leadership College along with Berean Bible online courses with the intention to become a certified pastor, I knew I had to make the ultimate sacrifice and LET GO in order to LET GOD.  My best friend asked me to move in with her so I could save up for my schooling and I hesitatingly said yes because it made sense. She was going through some things and needed the support and I needed to save the money. I had planned to work my job until August and then start school. Perfect plan!  I could give a little in the form of my space, live on her couch and not have my own bedroom, save money, store my stuff and have the best of both worlds! But I wasn’t fully letting go, so it didn’t shock me when I lost my job a couple weeks after devising my perfect plan. I realized I needed to give it ALL up. I sold, gave away, or threw away everything I owned with the exception of half my clothes, some dishes, and keepsake items. My “stuff” that I love so much and my space that I treasured I needed to be rid of it because I made the choice to LET GO so I can LET GOD.

My best friend Kendra and Me at home.
Without her this all wouldn't have come together
she is truly a blessing from God.

See the thing is, I probably could have found a way to make it work, to be there for my friend, find another good paying job to get me by, stayed in my apartment, kept my stuff and stayed right where I was.  I learned something about trusting that voice that calls out to me; when I get wrapped up in my own agenda and all my “stuff” it has never turned out for the better. Most often it has led me to some of the worst places in my life. By letting go and reaching a point to by definition of most “I have nothing” I truly believe I will finally find that I have EVERYTHING.  MY “STUFF” DOESN’T DEFINE ME! And I don’t need ANY of it to see life change in people!  It doesn’t matter that I don’t have a job at the moment, it doesn’t matter that I don't have as much money as I would like. It doesn’t matter that my circumstances haven’t changed and haven’t gotten better and it doesn’t matter that it’s a harder struggle to not have my “stuff” than I thought. Whatever God is teaching me right now, whatever He has in store for me, all I know is that through it all no matter the amount of discomfort, by letting go so I can let God there is a world full of possibilities and now I am open to them. I am free to be led where he wants to take me and I have faith and truly believe that he will lead me to the greatness He destined me for.  SOULS SAVED, LIVES CHANGED. 

No we are not all called to this extreme servitude and sacrifice, but can you imagine how much better the world would be if we could all just LET GO and LET GOD more than just inside our comfort zone? Imagine how our lives would change if we focused more on other people than on our own stuff?

What can you sacrifice today? Do you LOVE your stuff, your time, your money, or your space, more than you should? As always leave a comment or send an email, would love to hear how you plan to let go and let God work in your life.

Blessings,

Jessie

XOXO