Are You Living Your Calling?

It has been a LONG time since I have taken the time to write a post, so today I was sitting here thinking of how amazing God is and I had to stop everything I was doing and share it with all of you. I will warn you, this may be a bit of a long one. God has been so good and amazing, it just doesn't feel right to not share it all in one shot.

CPLC Orientation

When I first started considering CPLC (Christ's Place Leadership College click here for more information on CPLC) my life looked a lot different. I worked full time and money was my main focus. I needed to make the buck to buy things and pay bills. I had to have the nicest clothes and the best furniture and the most important thing for me was to create a nice home for myself and a sense of belonging so I could feel like I had accomplished the great and could walk around feeling like I had "arrived". I was more concerned with how other people viewed me that I measured my self worth by comparing my personal inventory stock of things, a car, clothes, and anything materialistic that could be measured and compared. These things defined me and made me who I was. I was happy in a general sense. I was on an incredible journey of chasing after God and volunteering in my free time at church in various areas, but I could not shake this unsettling feeling that there was more out there for me...a purpose...a calling.
When I made the decision to literally give up EVERYTHING I had worked years for, to do something that on paper made no sense, I was afraid. I didn't want to sell all my stuff but I had to so I could afford tuition and living expenses. I didn't want to give up my job but in order to attend school Monday-Thursday all day it was necessary. I fought every avenue of what I wanted to chase this feeling that there was more. That feeling was bigger than my stuff, bigger than my job and bigger than myself...It was a calling. A calling to ministry. and it made no sense whatsoever. But I did it anyways.
Going into CPLC I had the idea and picture painted in my head that since I was following my calling it would all be a breeze process from there. That making the decision was going to be the difficult part. I couldn't have been more wrong. Even the first day of orientation I was shocked because I sat there in this room where I was supposed to be excited yet I again was troubled by an unsettling feeling. At the last minute a week before classes started, I changed my focus of study from Church Leadership to Student Ministry. I was totally freaking out but again just had to trust that feeling I had inside. I knew I was called to impact youth and young adults and knew it was time to face my insecurities and go with it. So I did.

But then I just had that feeling again

that feeling that I had to just keep going

that no matter what God would see me through. 

So I kept going.

That was just the first of many surprises throughout the year. The fantasy of the happy seamless journey of following my calling was anything but. I moved from place to place, couch to couch, even ended up on the floor on an air mattress. I was thankful for each blessing provided, at least I had a roof over my head and the biggest blessing of all was second semester when a family took me in and I actually got a bed in a room with a door to close! But to say the process was easy would be a lie. I remember at one point when I was staying in my best friends living room sharing space and a bathroom with her and her two kids and saying to myself..."at least I have my health" then that too took a fast decline. In that period of time I was super close to a breakdown. In fact, I had many breakdown moments. I wanted to quit, I wanted money, I wanted stability, I wanted a home, a husband, a life...I was in this school feeling so out of place and so old watching all my friends my age live their life with their husbands, their kids, their homes, their money, their health insurance...I was once again comparing and felt like I had nothing and I wanted to quit, I wanted to give up. I wanted what I wanted and I wanted it then in that moment! I was sick and tired and sick of being sick and tired. But then I just had that feeling again...that feeling that I had to just keep going...that no matter what God would see me through. So I kept going.

God was teaching me that what I WANT and what I NEED are not the same thing. And that no matter what He will always take care of me. And truly the only thing I NEED is Him.

What I learned through that very hard time was that even though it felt like I had nothing and I was very near a breaking point...I had enough. God was teaching me that what I WANT and what I NEED are not the same thing. And that no matter what He will always take care of me. And truly the only thing I NEED is Him. The proof in that is that I am here today writing to you able to tell you about it.

Things began to look up second semester. As I mentioned above, a wonderful family took me in and blessed me with my own space and a bed and a loving environment to live in and feel secure in. I never really did have tons of money and there were days where I didn't know how I would buy food or pay my phone bill or put gas in my car, but I knew God was in control and somehow there was always enough. Whether it came through a blessing from a friend, or complete stranger, a job opportunity like dressing up as Cinderella for a birthday party, filling in here and there at a car lot, or a seasonal job...there was always enough.
Also, my health was drastically improving through a blessing and opportunity to work with a nutritionist. I was feeling better than I had in years!

As things slowly improved and the blessings began to pour in, I began to reflect on my journey of feeling called to youth ministry and how it all began. I started thinking back to when I was a teenager and first began to develop a relationship with Jesus. I remembered going to Campus Life Clubs and doing Bible Studies with classmates and Campus Life Staff. I remembered how on fire for Jesus I was and how Campus Life impacted me as a student and I began to get that unsettling feeling again. So I began to investigate and reached out to a friend and pastor from church to see if there was a possibility to get plugged in there. I went through the interview and application process and before I knew it I had accepted my first ministry job! Again I was faced with some fears centering around money, as this particular job you have to fundraise your salary, but I couldn't shake the feeling that God was taking me full circle and I just needed to trust Him and follow my calling and purpose. Once again it just isn't about me, it's about God and how He can use me to impact youth and help them live changed lives through a relationship with Jesus.

(You can give your support to Jessie and her ministry with Campus Life online by clicking here and selecting Team Campus Life: Jessie Adcox under the "Add Designation" drop down menu)

Me and Henry

I have devoted the past couple years to God in matters of the heart. Made the vow to stay pure and prayed and waited for Him to send me the one He has for me in His way and in His timing. I had my moments of being very impatient with this...but overall I just trusted He would figure it out and I just kept praying about it. 

(For more on my purity journey click here to read my post "Let's Talk About Sex) 

Then out of nowhere I went to get my flat tire fixed at a friends shop and he asked me "you want to date my brother in law?" To make a long story short we had the opportunity to learn how to date the right way, how to build a relationship based on God and friendship and this coming October I get to marry my best friend Henry. I have never been happier. Henry is everything I have prayed for the past couple years and we are excited to do life and ministry together. We both will continue to pursue our minister certification through Berean School of the Bible Online. Henry will be joining me as a volunteer with Campus Life and we will both continue to volunteer together with our youth group at Christ's Place Church.

CPLC Graduation Class of 2014

Before I knew it, graduation day came June 12, 2014. It was such a bittersweet feeling as one journey was ending and a new one was about to begin. Walking across that stage and accepting my certificate of completion was an amazing feeling. As I have never really finished anything big that I had started. And with all the trials, and most of them legitimate reason to not continue CPLC, I kept going and finished strong. Graduation day is a day I will never forget. Although the process was tough I was so thankful for all the opportunities I had during those past 10 months. Some of the highlights from the year were, the opportunity to plan and speak at two girls retreats, speak a couple times at youth services, learn what it takes to lead an effective youth ministry, grow in my relationship with God, serve as a dorm leader at camp, lead a small group for middle school and high school girls, and co-lead a club at a local high school. The year was intense at best, and every step was worth it. 

(click here to listen/watch a couple of Jessie's sermons)

So where am I today? It is July and life is not perfect, but I have more than I could ask for. I finally have my own space in a wonderful apartment (thanks to my amazing fiance) I have a part time job that helps a little with the bills, and have started on staff with Campus Life. I have started my fundraising and planning for the upcoming school year and am SO excited to be able to work with an amazing staff, and reach out to students at the very school and club at Lincoln Northeast High School that first impacted me. And although at times it seems impossible, and money seems to continue to be a frustration...once again I am learning to trust God with each step, as I know he will take care of me and provide all my needs. Me and Henry are amazed at his provision in planning and providing for our wedding, and so thankful to all the blessings from family and friends, we are just in awe right now. I have all that I could ever want and everything I need. I have Jesus. I have an amazing man in my life, a new family that is more than I could have ever imagined, loving supportive friends, and the list goes on and on. But most importantly I am living my calling and my purpose and with all these things in my life none of them compare to God's love and the opportunity to fulfill his calling on my life.

The girl that used to stack rank herself based on stuff, things, finances, recognition in the work place, and, having people like me has traded all that for what really matters...PURPOSE. And it is within that purpose that all those other desires are finally truly being fulfilled. I feel like I belong, because I belong to Jesus. I feel accepted because God accepts me just as I am. I feel provided for and want for nothing because living my calling and Jesus are all I need.


What is your purpose? Are you living your calling? Is fear and hard times holding you back and preventing you from the ability to KEEP GOING even when it seems hard?

Feel free to share your thoughts and answers to those questions in the comments below.

Blessings!


Jessie