Choices...everything is a product of our choices.
You can choose whether to be positive or negative and both will completely change your life.
I used to completely underestimate the power of the mind. I was so stuck in a negative way of thinking that it controlled my life in many aspects. If something made me sad, I would tell myself over and over “I’m sad, I’m sad, I’m sad...” eventually I was so sad I could barely get out of bed.
I went to see a doctor looking for a solution after learning of "depression". He gave me a “get out of jail free card” in the form of medication. Not only was my “depression” excusable but any action I made as a byproduct of this “depression” was also excusable and “not my fault” thus freeing me from any kind of accountability and allowing me to behave however I wanted. It was OK for me to stay in bed all day, it was acceptable for me to cry all the time, I was free to be lazy because I was “sad”. I created the same pattern for my anxiety. Something would challenge my comfort zone, I would recognize it and tell myself over and over “oh no I’m worried, Oh no I am anxious, Oh no I am gonna blow” and guess what...eventually I’m worried out of my mind, so anxious I cannot breathe and freaking out to no end like a 5 year old throwing a temper tantrum. I was having “panic attacks”. And I would actually talk myself into having “panic attacks” over and over. Once again I ran off to the doctor and I am told, I have Generalized Anxiety Disorder. I was prescribed another pill to treat my “illness”. Hooray! another get out of jail free card! The same thing happened when I began having trouble in school and focusing, I would tell myself “this is too hard, I can’t focus, I can’t focus”...eventually I can’t focus! Yet another doctor gave me another pill...another get out of jail free card. This went on for about 10 years. I had NO accountability for anything!
I went to see a doctor looking for a solution after learning of "depression". He gave me a “get out of jail free card” in the form of medication. Not only was my “depression” excusable but any action I made as a byproduct of this “depression” was also excusable and “not my fault” thus freeing me from any kind of accountability and allowing me to behave however I wanted. It was OK for me to stay in bed all day, it was acceptable for me to cry all the time, I was free to be lazy because I was “sad”. I created the same pattern for my anxiety. Something would challenge my comfort zone, I would recognize it and tell myself over and over “oh no I’m worried, Oh no I am anxious, Oh no I am gonna blow” and guess what...eventually I’m worried out of my mind, so anxious I cannot breathe and freaking out to no end like a 5 year old throwing a temper tantrum. I was having “panic attacks”. And I would actually talk myself into having “panic attacks” over and over. Once again I ran off to the doctor and I am told, I have Generalized Anxiety Disorder. I was prescribed another pill to treat my “illness”. Hooray! another get out of jail free card! The same thing happened when I began having trouble in school and focusing, I would tell myself “this is too hard, I can’t focus, I can’t focus”...eventually I can’t focus! Yet another doctor gave me another pill...another get out of jail free card. This went on for about 10 years. I had NO accountability for anything!
I felt like I had a green light to be lazy and do whatever I wanted! I was “getting out of jail free” all the time!...My choice maker was majorly broken and this led to my severe brokenness.
I lived a large portion of my life carrying around and broadcasting a long list of “medical problems” I had. Depression, Generalized Anxiety Disorder, Bipolar Disorder, and Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder, just to name a few. I never took a test or received any concrete results or proof of any of these “medical problems”, and these doctors just GAVE me medication? And I was able to act however I wanted and be lazy and not learn any accountability at all??? I admit it I was all about it! I felt like I had a green light to be lazy and do whatever I wanted! I was “getting out of jail free” all the time!
The REAL problem was in the pattern of thought I developed all on my own, within my own powers, I created this excuse making way of life and allowed it to be as such. Taking this medication really was no different than drinking alcohol or smoking pot. Just because it was prescribed to me in the form of a pill, by a doctor, it is OK? No, no its not OK. It didn’t actually make me feel better, it masked the problem and allowed me to “get out of jail for free” in just about every aspect of life. See, I had a choice, and I chose the easy way, the lazy way, the “medical way” I chose to feed negativity and make excuses. And all it brought me was disaster. I could never keep a job, friends came and usually went, I failed out of school a LOT, relationships were always a disaster, and all in all I was a tragic hot mess. My choice maker was majorly broken and this led to my severe brokenness.
“You have no control over the things that happen, whether they do or do not go your way, the ONLY thing you can control is how you respond. You have a CHOICE to feed the negative or feed the positive.” He also said “Negative out equals negative in, Positive out equals positive in; if you want good things to come your way start putting out positive energy.”
My dad is an amazing man with a genius way of thinking and incredible perspective. He told me that
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| Me and my dad. He is my King motivator! |
I woke up one day and decided, I made the CHOICE to change my mind, and I did, just like that!
I woke up one day and decided, I made the CHOICE to change my mind, and I did, just like that! No medicine, no negativity, no excuses, and now I am happier than I have ever been! It shows in the rest of my life too. I recently had so many job options I actually got to choose which one to work, I have a circle of friends that feed life into me, my relationship with the Lord is strong and the center of my life, I have a clear un-medicated mind, and I am starting school again in a couple weeks and have no fear of failing out this time, I will succeed...because I CHOOSE to!
Is your choice maker broken? Do you find yourself stuck in negativity ruts and feeding your own misery? I challenge you today to make a different CHOICE and change your mind! POSITIVE IN=POSITIVE OUT. You have nothing to lose, change your mind today and change your life! Send an email or leave a comment, would love for you to share your thoughts!
Blessings!
XOXO
Jessie
An anxious heart weighs a man down, but a kind word cheers him up.
Proverbs 12:25
Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
Philippians 4:6-7
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