Priorities

 What's on your priority list? Or better yet WHO is on your list? Have you ever felt like you were last on someones list? So who's wrong? Them for neglecting you, or is it you for making them a priority when maybe they shouldn't be? Do you over extend yourself and give too much out; then never have enough for yourself or the people closest to you who need it most? Do you spend more time on Facebook and social media then you do with God, your family, or closest friends? Have you run out of things to talk about with your best friend because, they have already read your life on status updates? Where is your energy going and your time being spent... where are your priorities?

"Oh yeah! I know... I already saw that on Facebook."

That used to be the center of too many conversations with me and my best friend. Kendra, my best friend, is like a sister to me and I remember the days when I had a pager and carried payphone money around. Then, if she paged me I would have to make the effort and call her. This usually warranted for face to face time which included some of the best in-depth discussions about nothing and everything. How did that get replaced by "oh yeah... I already saw that on Facebook?”  And evenings on the couch not talking to each other, but instead, on our phones trolling through other people's lives. 

Priorities. That's how.

Now... I'm not saying Facebook and social media is a bad thing, I'm not... but I do believe it has a tendency to replace some much needed REAL human interaction. That is IF you don't have your properties straight. See, I didn't. And I was spending too much time social networking that I didn't feel like I was living in the real world anymore. Sounds so crazy huh? But it happens so easily if you don't have your priorities straight.

Me and Kendra both realized that social media usage had become too much of a priority in our lives. So we decided to do a 30 day fast of it and see what happened. I have to tell you, it has been the most glorious 30 days of my life.  I was impressed at how much more often me and Kendra actually talked to each other and how much less distracted our time together was. No more did we have our phones in hand at every turn. We spend quality time together like best friends should.  I also noticed an increase in my relations with ALL my friends and family.  We HAD to communicate with each other, they couldn’t just log onto the blue page and get caught up. To get in touch with me you would have to text me, email me, or better yet call me.  I had forgotten how nice it was to just have a phone conversation. So much that I hesitated to go back to Facebook, and had even become pretty overzealous in saying I never would.  Part of me doesn’t really want to, but then I realized that it is MY fault that social media became such a nuisance and that I had to re-align my priorities and not ALLOW it to be such a distraction. 

One way I have learned to keep my priorities in check is the “Lego” theory.  Let me break it down for you.

For example:

A Lego has SIX pegs. So, on each peg I have one priority.

2) Peg one is reserved for my future husband, and in the meantime I spend time in prayer with God that he guard my heart until the right person he has made for me comes along.
3) Peg two is reserved for my family.
4) Peg three reserved for my ministry.
5) Peg four is for my training and working out.
6) Peg five is reserved for my other close personal friends; it’s kind of a revolving door of time spent between 3-4 different buddies.
7) Peg six is reserved for my work. 

And of course the "Lego" itself sits in Jesus’s hands, as He is the center of everything.

See, there is only so much room on my Lego and those spots are like VIP/Priority....  anyone else, especially Vampires (people who suck the life out of you) they have my love because I choose to love like Jesus, but they are not on my Lego. Therefore not taking priority in my life and preventing me from over promising myself and getting overwhelmed, or allowing vampires in.  I am able to fill my life with light and truth and not darkness and lies.  You noticed that I numbered my pegs 2-7 didn’t you? That’s because my number ONE is and always will be God. He is bigger than my Lego.

My dad always tells me it takes 30 days to make something a habit. So for 30 days I “fasted” Facebook. And it amazed me at how much this simple act of obedience helped me in re-aligning ALL my priorities in life.  Not just in wasting time on things such as social media but just how I look at human interaction as a whole.  And most importantly, making God my number ONE priority at all times with all things.

Where is your time being spent? What are your priorities in life? Perhaps you need a re-alignment as I did? Leave a comment, or send an email would love to hear your thoughts!

Blessings

XOXO

Jes

Romans 12:2 ESV

Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect

Matthew 6:33 NIV

But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.

Are you letting your JOY be stolen?

I don't normally like to discuss my health issues. Funny, because it used to be the center of every conversation I had. I realized not too long ago that this was a tactic for attention and have since made a conscious effort to break this habit. But today I'm stepping out of that but not for attention.... I will say it once, do not pity me or feel sorry for me. The details I am about to share are for a greater purpose and have nothing to do with me.

In order for you to understand why this has nothing to do with me, first I need to describe what I have been going through. I'm gonna be real straight here too... I have some serious gastrointestinal problems. I'm not just talking about a little tummy ache either. I have what has been diagnosed as Fructose Malabsorbtion. Never heard of it huh? Neither did I until 2 months ago. Basically, my body doesn't absorb fructose so it sits in my intestine and ferments. This releases a bunch of gasses and causes some extreme symptoms. I'm talking serious pain, discomfort, bloating, altered body image issues, constipation, and diarrhea...to name a few. I'm learning now that a lot of my past "complaints" may be linked to this as well.

Let me paint a picture for you... and I apologize in advance for the boldness in this description for those of you like me that don't even like the word poop... I'm sorry but it is what it is. When I say bloating I'm talking HUGE like I look pregnant, seriously... no exaggeration. And try not pooping for days at a time... like 5 or 6 days and then all of a sudden an explosion in your guts and bam! It won't stop coming out! I mean seriously I am 31 years old and at times I think I have pooped my pants more than my 3 year old niece. So there I am feeling "full of shit", fat, in pain, gassy, and I poop my pants. I know your possibly thinking wow really?... ew...why would she even tell people that?! it is gross but it's my reality. And the pain associated with all this... I can't even describe it, but I think you get the point.

I have lived my whole life this way. Doctor after doctor telling me I have IBS and prescribing medication after medication that yielded no relief, combined with my lack of concern for my own well being left me ignoring the problem and just "living with it".
That all changed a few months ago. When I met Christ and allowed God to show me what real self worth is I began to realize this is not normal and needs to change.
I went to the doctor and it was a bit of a fight there. They wanted to label me with IBS and prescribe a laxative and send me on my way. I knew this was not OK. They wouldn't listen to me when I expressed my concern and just kept telling me it's IBS. A year ago I would have accepted this and tried the medication for a month or so and then just let it be.

Not this time.

Now that I know I am worth more and there is better to be found, I finally trusted that little voice in me that has always said "there's more to it than this, dig deeper, find answers". And you know what I did? I waited on hold for an hour after demanding a referral to a specialist. I demanded, in a polite way, that they listen to me and we find the real problem. I stuck up for myself! And in a tactful way! No tantrum or scene. And three weeks later... boom! Root cause...fructose!

Another thing you need to know is that I used to be queen excuse maker and I had to fight my learned tendencies to not "excuse make" after being diagnosed. And talking about it is hard, food is the center of a LOT of social events and fellowship so naturally it comes up. I'm still figuring that out.

The diagnosis has been just the beginning of all new struggles. Do you know how hard it is to not eat fructose? It's in everything! Fruit, veggies, most anything processed... the list goes on and on.
But I'm ok with that... the hardest part for me has been that for two months I have been following what is supposed to be a fructose free diet and I don't feel better. Not one bit. And I'm exhausted. Missing out on a LOT of nutrients has made me feel even more unhealthy. Some days I want to scream, cry, and carry my bad mood around... like really bad... I want to pout and make excuses, stay in bed and just be sick. BUT I DON'T. And why don't I? I mean I have a pretty good reason to not feel well and allow myself to be "sick" right?
Wrong.

Yes I'm miserable, but you would never know. Unless your my best friend and have the luxury of hearing my daily "poop stories" you would never know. And here is the greater purpose part I mentioned earlier. It's simple... Jesus loves me. Nothing else matters. Not even this. Ya it sucks to not wear my favorite clothes at times because my belly is too bloated. And the whole poop thing... ya, ew. But it just doesn't matter. I have blind faith. It sucks now, it sucks big time, and it's not what I want for my life or my body. BUT IT'S NOT ABOUT ME! And thank God it's not! It's about God and His son, my homeboy... Jesus. I know and believe it will get better whether God heals me or sends me solutions that work, I believe He will! And I will own up and do my part every day. I will take action on my end and stay diligent, follow the diet, listen to my body, go back to the doctors and make sure everything possible in figuring this out is connected at all dots. But most importantly... I will not lose my joy! in fact I have become even more motivated in life because of this.
There are nights when I don't want to run because I'm so full of gas my belly is huge and it hurts, or there is the utmost worst fear that I may have to "go to the bathroom" while running.

But I run anyway.

I was angry on my way to church this morning, running late, in a hurry, behind schedule because I got stuck on the toilet, But I stopped myself, shut off the anger and let God fill me with joy and light and I worshipped my butt off! And I had a great day because of it! Even though I felt horrible, it was great! I watched the Packer game with friends, I ate some food (fructose free of course) and got to fellowship with two amazing new friends, and ya I still felt horrible the whole time... but I made new happy memories and my smile never left my face. And it's not a fake cover up smile... it's pure real joy. Why? I'll say it again... because it's not about me.

What is stealing your joy today? Are you allowing your own agenda to interfere with God's? Has something been put on your plate that you don't want to deal with?
I don't know where this will all lead; I'm scheduling a colonoscopy tomorrow to see if more is going on, and I actually was waiting for an end result to write about this. But then I realized the true beauty is in the unknown. Blind faith. God will take care of me and I am good NO MATTER WHAT. Instead of clinging to the what-ifs of it all... what if its crohns disease, what if it's cancer, what if I'll never eat fruit again, what if I crap my pants?! Guess what...

IT DOESN'T MATTER!

God knows what is best for me and it's his agenda not mine. It's up to me to never give up, keep my joy, and stay on top of it with persistence and follow through. The rest... will be just fine because that has been promised by God. So folks....please do yourself a favor and get off your agenda, quit being "sick" with the excuses of life and start living no matter your circumstances! As cliche as it sounds... Life is short, start living and live it right with God and NOTHING will be able to interrupt your joy and your journey.

I ask you again, What is stealing your joy today? Are you allowing your own agenda to interfere with God's? Has something been put on your plate that you don't want to deal with? Perhaps you don't have your dream job, or someone hurt you? Do you find yourself giving up on life when you don't "feel good" or your unhappy and unsatisfied with the process God is walking you through? Or are you fighting tooth and nail without ever losing your joy?
Leave a comment or send an email and tell me about your joyful journeys or struggles. 

Be joyful always!

Blessings

XOXO

Jes

1 Thessalonians 5:18
Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus.

Philippians 4:4
Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice!

New Creation

“You have not changed, and you will never change, you can’t change, you are crazy, evil, and no good.”  

“I'm happy your life is different. But honestly, it doesn't change anything for me, and I can't trust that things will be different than they used to be.  Not with you.”

I received both those statements not too long ago via email and text. I remember reading those words the first time, and boy did they sting!  Not just because they are harsh words but because I believed them…almost.  But I knew better because I was part of a new story.  See this crazy awesome thing happens when you accept Christ; you actually DO become a NEW CREATION!  The proof lies in my favorite verse:

2 Corinthians 5:17

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come.

One of my favorite people, Pastor Nathan Kroll, recently compared this verse to a butterfly in one of his sermons.  He said “When a person comes to know Christ, it says that they become a new creation. The word that it uses for new creation, is the word that we use, Metamorphosis; for when a caterpillar changes into a butterfly.  I don’t know if you know how that process works, but when a caterpillar changes into a butterfly they change species.  It goes from being one thing to an entirely different thing.  It’s not just a step in the growth process it changes completely, 100% becomes something else. That’s what that means when it says new creation.”

You ever get yourself on an amazing journey, like, you just get going and pick up momentum and then somebody says…”um no I don’t think so you can’t do that” “you are not capable” or “ you cannot change?”  I’m here today to tell you that you 100% can NO MATTER WHAT anyone else has to say.  See I had two choices when I got those text and emails telling me it wasn’t possible. I could either, 1) take it to heart, believe it and stop…let the lies and hurt become me, and never reach my full potential. Thus, letting other people dictate who I am and what I become. Or I could, 2) shed a couple tears… (I’ll be honest, those words hurt, and they hurt a lot! So yes I did cry a little) Then, dry my eyes, pick myself up and seek after the truth! Of course I chose number two! I let what God says about me dictate who I am and what I become and he says…I AM A NEW CREATION IN CHRIST!

Almost exactly a year ago today I was in a very different place.  I had lost my big corporate sales job, was working in a bridal shop at very low pay with no benefits, I had to borrow my mom’s car because mine had been repossessed, and had just gotten out of a very toxic relationship and had to find a place to live on my own.  I was lost, scared, pretty much hopeless, and felt worthless inside and out.  I really, really, really wanted to lie down and cry about it all. In fact I did at first. I laid down on the floor and begged God for his mercy, not really even understanding what it was, I actually was begging for him to fix my broken relationship thinking that was the answer. Boy oh boy, am I glad he knows better than I!  Turns out getting me out of that toxic situation was EXACTLY what I needed! And I wouldn’t have it any other way! I have my SELF WORTH!  And I found it all in my Savior Jesus, when I accepted Him, just as it says…I became new, different, better…ME. 

It wasn’t easy and I had to work through a LOT of junk.  There were moments when I so badly wanted to turn around and give up but with the Holy Spirit in me it was all possible! It is so amazing to me how all I did was accept Jesus into my heart and all of a sudden I started thinking different, wanting different things, and having more motivation and drive than ever before….And I have only just begun! This is just the tip of the iceberg, in one area of my life. Everything about me has changed and is different. I have spread my wings and this butterfly is flying!  

So what do I think about those harsh words now? I DON’T think about them except to say they do NOT matter. All I know and all that matters is what God says about me and what he wants for my life and from here, man it’s looking good!

Where are you today? Are you a butterfly?  Or is someone holding you down with their judgments and opinions? Or even worse are you letting your own thoughts about yourself and your past keep you from becoming something new?  If you are struggling or have a butterfly story of your own, and want to share please comment or send me an email. Would love to chat it out with you!

Blessings!

XOXO

Jes

For Further updates on my life as it has continued to change see  blog posts:
I Am Changed and LET GO and LET GOD