Blackout

Friday, August 24, 2012 at 8:18am Denver Airport

Watching all the couples walk hand in hand throughout the airport kinda makes me jealous a little bit. Then I stop and think and reflect... shocker... that's what I do... and I see myself. Independent strong confident and my only real worry is having to end up using the bathroom on the airplane.

A year ago I couldn't separate my worry from my awake my fears from my sleep and I was in such a dark place it didn't matter how many lights were on or how bright the sun shined... I was trapped in a constant blackout. And the saddest part about it is I put myself there. I abused this glorious thing God gave me called free will and I trapped myself.

Its so funny now... how you can just decide the wrong action chase the empty things expecting them to fill you up and then get pissed at the world and blame your circumstances, make a million excuses, or point your finger at others. But people do it all the time! I did it for years!
You know what the awesome thing about it all is though? Just as simply as you made all those wrong choices...you can make one right choice and light a candle in your blackout.

That choice and that light is Jesus. One you light that candle it begins to burn and grow... I made this choice and now my blackout is a constant burning forest fire full of life! All those bad decisions and mistakes in my past... that's where they are and where they stay... in the past. I'm free of it and loved.

So now after processing all this let me look around this airport again... Yup! Still couple after couple... man so many people in love excited to be going places... and you know what? I'm not jealous... I'm in love too! With Jesus! I'm connected to all these people as we all share this beautiful thing called Love! I challenge you today... where is your darkness level? Are you in a blackout? Or are the lights dimming? What are you chasing to fulfil your needs? Is it just a temporary fix of more emptiness? Or have you found your truth and your light? If not I suggest you do as I did and get a running start and go meet Jesus and let him light your candle!

Blessings!
XOXO
~Jes

1 John 4:19
We love because he first loved us.

John 3:16
For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life.