Tell me... who do you live for? Such a simple question... or is it?
Do you live for yourself? Your spouse? Your friends? Your family? Do people around you, magazines, social networks like Facebook and Twitter define you? Or how about not even other people but, their opinions? What defines you? Your job? The amount of money you make? The things you own? What kind of car you drive or... what about your past? Does your past define you? What makes you, YOU?
I gotta be honest with you... those questions used to be very VERY painful things to even think about. I suppose mostly because I was so lost that I allowed all those things to define me. Then, even more disgraceful... I became them.
I think the most earth shattering moment for me was when a relationship I was in came to an end. This man who once said he loved me and planned to marry me, dismissed me so easily because "people didn't like me, and he couldn't have a girlfriend people didn't like " he also said I had made too many mistakes, my reputation was ruined, I was a loser, and that it would take a lot longer to "fix" my reputation than it did to destroy it, and he wasn't willing to wait and didn't believe I could. Harsh words to say to another person huh? But what's worse?... what he said to me? Or the fact that I believed it?
The missing part of the story is that I had already fallen into a pattern long before entering that relationship of letting others define who I was. I based my self worth off of what people, mostly men, thought of me. And this led me down a path of picking a LOT of not so good men to spend my time with. After getting lied to, cheated on, and yes, even hit and beat up at times, I allowed myself to believe and even act as if I didn't deserve any better. So who's fault was that?
Mine.
It was mine.
I was not stupid, blind, or naive... I was lazy. And not just lazy... even worse, I was selfish, I wanted control, control of my life. And the funny thing is, the more I tried to control it... the more out of control it became.
See, I knew the answer all along yet I ignored it. I let a man who lied to me, ignored me, treated me like dirt, and was always keeping other options open yet kept me around for rent money and physical needs, tell me who I was and I believed it and let it destroy me... ALMOST.
I fell... I fell hard! And man I'm so glad I did because I landed right in my saviour's arms. He began speaking TRUTH in my life because, I ALLOWED HIM TO! I Finally surrendered to God and began to see clearly for the first time in my life. I realized I was listening to what others said and thought about me and had let those lies take over. I realized God always had bigger better plans for me and I was merely "slumming it" just to feel loved.
What's so awesome is that God has ALWAYS seen me and loved me for who I am even after all those mistakes I made, even after being lazy and selfish, and even after ignoring His truth for so long. I finally am able to look in the mirror, makeup or not, and see that I am beautiful! And why? Because I don't live for myself! I live for Jesus and God defines who I am! NOBODY ELSE!
I sat in the ocean just barely 12 hours ago and as the waves hit my face I just laughed and laughed, I felt so free and full of joy all I could do is laugh. Then I took a deep breath and smiled... I even shed a few happy tears as I looked up to God and just thanked Him for never giving up, for loving me no matter what, and most of all... for defining me. I live for Him. I am loved and so are you!
Now, let me ask you again... who are you and what defines you? Are you allowing your past, your spouse, your possessions, your friends and family, or your job feed you full of lies? Or are you turning to God to get the TRUTH about who you are? Are you leading your life or is He?
If you struggle with this, leave your comments or send an email and let me know.
Blessings!
XOXO
~Jes
Psalm 139:13-14
For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother's womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well.
Romans 12:2
Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.
Do you live for yourself? Your spouse? Your friends? Your family? Do people around you, magazines, social networks like Facebook and Twitter define you? Or how about not even other people but, their opinions? What defines you? Your job? The amount of money you make? The things you own? What kind of car you drive or... what about your past? Does your past define you? What makes you, YOU?
I gotta be honest with you... those questions used to be very VERY painful things to even think about. I suppose mostly because I was so lost that I allowed all those things to define me. Then, even more disgraceful... I became them.
I think the most earth shattering moment for me was when a relationship I was in came to an end. This man who once said he loved me and planned to marry me, dismissed me so easily because "people didn't like me, and he couldn't have a girlfriend people didn't like " he also said I had made too many mistakes, my reputation was ruined, I was a loser, and that it would take a lot longer to "fix" my reputation than it did to destroy it, and he wasn't willing to wait and didn't believe I could. Harsh words to say to another person huh? But what's worse?... what he said to me? Or the fact that I believed it?
The missing part of the story is that I had already fallen into a pattern long before entering that relationship of letting others define who I was. I based my self worth off of what people, mostly men, thought of me. And this led me down a path of picking a LOT of not so good men to spend my time with. After getting lied to, cheated on, and yes, even hit and beat up at times, I allowed myself to believe and even act as if I didn't deserve any better. So who's fault was that?
Mine.
It was mine.
I was not stupid, blind, or naive... I was lazy. And not just lazy... even worse, I was selfish, I wanted control, control of my life. And the funny thing is, the more I tried to control it... the more out of control it became.
See, I knew the answer all along yet I ignored it. I let a man who lied to me, ignored me, treated me like dirt, and was always keeping other options open yet kept me around for rent money and physical needs, tell me who I was and I believed it and let it destroy me... ALMOST.
I fell... I fell hard! And man I'm so glad I did because I landed right in my saviour's arms. He began speaking TRUTH in my life because, I ALLOWED HIM TO! I Finally surrendered to God and began to see clearly for the first time in my life. I realized I was listening to what others said and thought about me and had let those lies take over. I realized God always had bigger better plans for me and I was merely "slumming it" just to feel loved.
What's so awesome is that God has ALWAYS seen me and loved me for who I am even after all those mistakes I made, even after being lazy and selfish, and even after ignoring His truth for so long. I finally am able to look in the mirror, makeup or not, and see that I am beautiful! And why? Because I don't live for myself! I live for Jesus and God defines who I am! NOBODY ELSE!
I sat in the ocean just barely 12 hours ago and as the waves hit my face I just laughed and laughed, I felt so free and full of joy all I could do is laugh. Then I took a deep breath and smiled... I even shed a few happy tears as I looked up to God and just thanked Him for never giving up, for loving me no matter what, and most of all... for defining me. I live for Him. I am loved and so are you!
If you struggle with this, leave your comments or send an email and let me know.
Blessings!
XOXO
~Jes
Psalm 139:13-14
For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother's womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well.
Romans 12:2
Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.
This is so good!! Everyone needs to take a few steps back & really ask themselves these questions. Seems so simple! But yet complete surrender to Him has been one of the hardest things I have ever had to do. GREAT post!!
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