No Excuses

One of the hardest things for me to admit to myself and to other people is that I used to have 100 excuses for everything I did wrong or did not do.  This was also one of the hardest habits to break. But I got nowhere until I took a hard look in the mirror and admitted to myself first, that I was being lazy in life, making excuses, and allowing myself to be afraid.  I took ownership for my faults. Once I did that I was open to change and able take action. 

See, I got very accustomed to using “medical issues” as reasons to not do things. I had convinced myself that if it was a “medical issue” it was a 100% valid excuse.  Now, I use quotations around the words “medical issues” for a reason, 99.9% of the time the medical issue either did not exist or was only holding me back because I let it. I became very afraid of anything that challenged my physical and sometimes mental wellbeing.  I wouldn’t do yard work BECAUSE…my allergies were too bad;  I wouldn’t go exercise or run BECAUSE I could get injured; I wouldn’t enter relationships BECAUSE I could get my heart broken.  BECAUSE BECAUSE BECAUSE!!!! Oh just that word alone makes my blood boil, it’s like a forward to an excuse.  So what is the underlying problem here? I think it’s a tie between pure laziness and fear.  WOW! Do I want to live my life being a lazy scared person? ABSOLUTELY NOT! Let me ask you the same question…do you want to live your life being a lazy scared person?

I think back even to my childhood and the book “The Little Engine That Could”.  The famous line from that story is “I think I can, I think I can, I think I can.”  For me, even that is lazy…. How about “I KNOW I CAN, I WILL! I KNOW I CAN, I WILL!”

Looking in the mirror and realizing, hey my s*** really does stink, was the hardest thing I ever did.  So, do you want to know how I did it? It’s easier than you think…. I fell to my knees and opened my heart to Christ.  When I realized He loves me no matter what, all my excuses and laziness included, I was able to face the truths about myself.  Again, I reiterate this was not easy to do at first, I fell…I fell HARD. But Christ was right there to catch me and to put the broken pieces together.  He gave me the strength to face my own fears and rejections. All I had to do was be bold enough to rip that Band-Aid off and expose it to myself and know that I need not be ashamed and that I can change and transform myself into a new person who does not make excuses.  My favorite verse in the Bible is 2 Corinthians 5:17 “Therefore, If anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation, the old has gone, the new has come.”

Ok, this sounds so pretty and easy once you get to this point right? Wrong! It takes a LOT of follow up work.  I had to physically and mentally start challenging myself out of my comfort zone and face my fears.  I made a list of all the things I have always wanted to do and have taken action to start crossing them off. I mowed my first lawn knowing my allergies will probably be bothered and guess what…they were, I sneezed my head off…but it didn’t kill me, I was fine.  I started running and entered my first 5k race, then my first 10k race and I finished them both! And guess what…I got injured! But did I sit down and pout and use it as reason to not continue training and being active? NOPE I got more motivated….got runners knee? Ok…I’ll train for a triathlon and alternate my workouts.  So, I decided to enter my first Triathlon! The best part about this is that I did not realize how terrified I am of the water and swimming, I wanted to give up and use that as an excuse to not compete…but guess what? I had my first swim lesson two days ago, and it was hard and I am still scared, but it will not stop me.  I will get in the pool over and over and over and it will suck over and over and over. BUT I have Christ with me to help me through and I know I can do it.  I have yet to enter a romantic relationship for God has not blessed me in that way, however I am open and ready for when and if He does.  In the mean time I am married to God and he is the only man I need.

Let me re-iterate here, stop making excuses! Live a life chanting “I know I can, I will”! Take a look in that mirror today and like Michael Jackson said…”make that change”. But most importantly, let Christ help you thorough it, he wants your brokenness, your fears, and your excuses.  He will yield them into wondrous things if you just TRUST in Him.  

Blessings!
XOXO
~Jes

It has been a while since I wrote this post, the picture above is Me right after the finish of my Triathlon. Philippians 4:13 I can do anything in Christ, who gives me strength...And so can you!